We deal with having to make tons of decisions everyday. Have you ever paused and thought about why we do the way we do things? Or have there been times in your life when you have to choose between two equally tempting offers and you’re stuck you just cant decide? Well, this is something which I would (and still do) struggle with all the time. Should I go for this event or stack back home with my family? Should I give up on this business deal or try even harder? Should I settle for this person or wait for someone better to come around? So I made the decision on writing a short note on decision making. Hopefully this brings some awareness and helps you make better decisions.
Clarity is key: When you are clear about what you want, making decisions is much more easier and effective. When you have a vision to create business network in your field of expertise, then you better show up to every invite and opportunity you get. In the same case, if you then get an invite for a raging music concert or a dinner with the same group of friends you meet everyday, it makes sense if you don't want to go. And vice versa, if you want to create a social friends circle then you better push yourself for the fun events.
Don't get lost in trees and miss the forest: This happens to the best of us. We get stuck whether to do something or not cause we get tied down to the details. When your goal is clear keep that as the bigger vision and take a call if this struggle is worth it or not. Or should you be investing your time somewhere else?
Mindfulness and Awareness:The forest or the bigger vision needs to be a constant reminder and every step that you take you need to be aware about. The more aware you are, why you are doing what you are doing and the choices you are making, the better you can reflect and make smarter choices.
The only opinion that matters is yours: Don’t get swayed with what other people say. Listen to their advice, read up or talk to friends and peers but ultimately do go to the inner place, your inner voice and let that be the ultimate call. Don’t not get swayed and distracted with too many perspectives and opinions. They are not walking in your shoes, you are!
Snowballing into building confidence :The more you start getting independent of taking your own decisions, the more confident you will get to take bigger tougher decisions. And this confidence will snowball into all areas of your life, personal and professional.
Its okay to be wrong : This is the part why most of us, don’t take our own decisions. We would rather blame our bosses or parents or colleagues that it was because them it didn’t work out (and make them take a decision instead actively taking responsibility of making our own decision and blame ourselves)
Journaling has been a part of my life for the last 2 years. First I was more ad-hoc about it, for a few months and then slowly it became a very organized pattern. I have broadly classified it into these categories to help with different needs :
Morning Pages : The book ‘The Artist’s Way’ introduced the concept of morning pages to me. The notion is to write three pages of free flow conscious stream of writing without any filters. The content can be as frivolous as writing I like the way this pen feels to very serious business ideas to very emotional stuff that you are going through with your relationships. The idea is to put to all on paper and make it a habit. This habit facilitates the process of connecting with your self, your feelings and what’s going on inside you.
Gratitude : The minute your write of something you are grateful for, you are automatically in place of positive vibration. Gratitude journal really boosts self confidence and self esteem in a person because they realize they is so much that one is thankful for. And there is so much to look forward to.
Day could be Better : When you finish the day and want to reflect on how the day went, normally what follows is how one could have used their time better or how they could have dealt with people better. This practice of daily writing what could have been better for example cutting down time spent on social media or whatsapp can really improve productivity for days to come.
Week & Day Design : This can be done at the start of a week, usually on a Sunday or Monday to space out meetings, appointments, assignments, events and the to-do’s list. And everyday usually the night before one can systematically jot down the important tasks of the day. The maintaining of weekly calendar and daily flow of the day has improved my efficiency multifolds. Ofcourse uncertainties crop up in the day and some tasks need to be moved to the next day, but overall this is really helpful for people who want to be in control of their time.
When you set out achieve to some goal to improve your personal or professional life. Sometimes you are thrown against the test of time. You hit a roadblock or an obstacle, which is very tough to crack. You easily want to give up your goal and run back to your old ways, your old habits and addictions, basically your comfort zone. You question your goal and yourself. In these times I want you to remember that you would never set out on this goal if you were happy with your status quo. So remember why you started and how would you feel if you achieved this. The obstacles thrown your way, the inner discomfort, the outward pain is not to be avoided. Infact, the obstacle is the way, the faster you embrace the misery the easier it is to transition to a stronger place. If it were easy, everyone would do it, but you have to endure the pain of the discipline so you don’t endure pain of regret, so do not give up on your belief in a better life just because you have to endure some pain. Its easier said than done, talking is very easy – going through the daily fights is not. But it is not the critics that count( the outer people or the inner critic) that stand on the sidelines, it’s the warrior on battlefield that knows the difficulties and still choses to be there. Be there a little longer. Don’t give up on your dream yet. Give another fight. Get up another time. The sunrays are closer than you think. The end of the tunnel is right around the corner. Then the victory is yours to bask in. Just don’t give up yet. Just don’t give in to your old habits yet.
There is a lot power in a positive mindset. You attract better things and people into your life and ultimately live a great life. And if tiny changes in your everyday habits can make you a positive person why not try it out?
Gratitude : When you have a mindset of being grateful in whatever you have, you are bound to attract more things to be grateful for. Someone can be sad driving a Audi and living in six bed room villa, while an another can be happy driving a Honda and living in a two bed room flat. It’s the outlook and the mindset towards life. Studies invariably show that being in nature and being in gratitude can enhance your happiness levels to a great degree Spend some time everyday thinking about all the things you're grateful for, your career, your family, your friends, the trees, waterfalls, warm cup of coffee.
Surrounding yourself with positive people, books or podcasts : The best way to keep your vibes upward is through your tribe. Look for people who uplift you, motivate you and support you. When you’re having a dull day who is someone you can call that will instantly boost your mood just by their presence? And would you want to be that person for your best friends? So create a close knit circle whom you can depend on for this and also they can depend on you. Not everyone thrives around people and therefore alternate sources are listening to podcasts of people who are super positive and have made it their second nature. Another option is to look for movies or books that really inspire you and get you in a great mood.
Meditation, journaling , mindful walking : Having a practice that brings you to equilibrium state, grounds you when there’s a estatic happiness and neutralizes you when there is sadness Meditation, mindful walking or eating or just journaling down your thoughts brings you to the centered state. The best thing is to have this practice not in a state of chaos but as an everyday routine so that you can prevent episodes rather than damage control.